Friday, January 27, 2012
@pearl: OKAY :D
I just don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm just. Stunned. I think what worries me a lot - maybe the most - is that I am practically Kazue. She went crazy after a while, or was she not crazy, was she merely deluded, or was she aware she was lying to herself, the way I do sometimes, was she this was she that?
I'm just. Well. Fuck.
Okay I just want to address the way this book was written, aka the most scary, realistic way ever. It starts off with the main narrator, whom I refer to as 'Hirata Anon' because we all know her surname, but she never reveals her own name, and everyone else just conveniently forgets her name as well. So it's written like a conversation, only it is a monologue. However, she somewhat responds to you, slightly, she says things like "so you wonder why...?" and then responds to it. It is essentially, a conversation. After this, she passes you Yuriko's diaries, and continues her ramble, talks about Zhang's trial and also passes you his statement, lets you read Professor Kijima's letters to Mitsuru, talks a bit more, and shows you Kazue's diaries.
Now I've mentioned multiple times that Japanese mysteries work this way: tell you everything, including the crime, victim, and criminal, then subsequently fuck with your head. Well I've genuinely never seen it as well done as this. Anon tells you all about everyone, and talks about the case as if it's a done deal. She gives impressions, and these impressions stick because she's the main narrator. Then you read their diaries. Well.
Kazue herself was pretty easy to read, even from Anon's POV. But Yuriko. We're lead to think she's incredibly dim-witted and stupid, almost based solely on her grades, then we realise she's the biggest bitch on earth and she has plans, and while not the sort of plan I could ever imagine myself taking up, a plan nonetheless. She can think, and more than she is academically underperforming she is able to see the world as it is.
I read somewhere, in a fanfiction actually, that to hate something you've got to be able to love it a little. This is Anon to Yuriko. I have honestly never. Never what? I'm not really sure.
And even when Anon felt guilt for Kazue at the end, I couldn't. I was disgusted. How could someone have such a skewed image of themselves? How could someone be so proud, so narcissistic, so uncaring of others in the world? She lives in a world where only she exists, where she herself is the sole purpose. Disgusting. I hated her, I was incredulous at her stupidity, and yet maybe the reason I can't feel remorse or pity for her is because I see so much of myself in her. And god I hate the convergent points between me and her. And now, because I'm desperate for some self-assurance, I'm asking "am I really like her?" Well. Yes. She is the perfect picture of my wants and desires and how I am. It's disgusting.
I think I've talked too much about this. It's. Revealing, in a sense. Ughhh.
I think what's scary is Zhang's story. What do I believe? On characterisation, I can pick some of it out for myself, and through all their lies there is some truth to everything. You pick out - someone's jealous, she's going to lie - and you know. But did Zhang abscond from his family because he was found to be a murderer? Or did his sister push him to do it? Did he force his sister into prostitution, or was she lied to and stolen away? Did he push her into the ocean or did he try to save her? One thing's for sure: Zhang has a crazy sister complex, and is also a liar.
They never really concluded Kazue's case, and while I do wish I knew what happened to her, I can't say it annoys me, because there was no way she could've fit it in. It's what the characters themselves understand at the very end, and besides Kazue and her murderer, no one could know for sure. But I am almost sure it is Zhang. Almost. There is an air of uncertainty about this.
There's a lot of themes to this book: beauty and society, feminism, social classes, migration. I don't know where to begin to think about this book.
When there are people who live in brightness, there are people who live in the shadows they cast. There isn't exactly a line from the book I can quote, but that's the main gist for what Anon says at the end. She's lived in Yuriko's shadows, but she says she hasn't, just picked up the dregs of those living in shadows. It's strange, how until the end Anon is trying to justify herself, claiming things even though they've been refuted, especially when her reactions to Yurio are like - like that. In any case. That concept, that visualisation. I believe in it.
The book's main theme is social classes. Migrants are far, far below. The insiders (insiders in the school, locals in the context of the country) will always get further than the outsiders (including halfs), unless you have something far more powerful, something that can break past that barrier: money or looks. Talent? Doesn't quite cut it. You may bore a small hole in the barrier, but you can't quite achieve success. And then, another large barrier: being a woman. Let's talk Japanese society: still very, very sexist. I used one of their stats for my EYA essay last year, but I've forgotten it. But just from what I know, very sexist.
This 'review' isn't very coherent at all, really. I'm just. Kind of boggled, and it's a really, really long book. Speaking of which, the length. It was quite a bit to handle, but I think if I really read through it, it would reveal a lot about everyone. It's somewhat interesting to me that Kirino kind of hints that she is aware this is draggy through her characters ("I skimmed most of it", "writing about irrelevant"), but it made me feel like I had to read deeper into it. Was it me?
Okay I'm just going to give up because it was really long, I'm really tired, and I've had too much time relating myself to Kazue and Anon and hating myself for it. (I am a terrible combination of both, perhaps it is because they were similar. Which they were. Anon and her self-assurance that she never really cared anyway, she could be an outsider for all she was worth, and Mitsuru putting it to her like a slap in her face: no, you never were, you were just like Kazue except you were worse because you belittled her for being exactly like you.) Oh god I JUST KEEP BLOGGING. WHEN WILL I EVER STOP.
BUT YES I just. I wonder if I know a monster. I wonder if I'm a monster, given that I am Kazue and Anon combined. And if yes, when does it start to show? Do you know, are you aware when it happens? One thing I'm certain of: everyone has a monster. But whether the monster festers within you and crawls out of your skin and oozes out your pores is a different matter altogether. I'm shuddering. Shiiit.
Anything more? I can't blog anymore I'm tired as fuck lol I turned on this machine just to blog. I want it fresh it my head but it's already a blur. Oops.
Oh oh: kudos on Kirino for not throwing shade on sex workers. The characters react in shock and disapproval, yes, but as an author she doesn't really make it seem like being a sex worker is something wrong, it's pursued by people of all kinds for all sorts of reasons. Maybe hatred may be the core of this reason, maybe Hirata Anon is just fucked over. All these maybes.
Also Yurio wins creepiest character of the book. It's not that he has acute hearing, he predicted a phone call. He downright has sixth sense. And he cracked Anon, led her to her downfall. Speaking of creepy: the last line of the book, as Anon strains to see if her client is Zhang. He's in jail, yes, but still. Fuck.
Oh oh another thing haha. I think Kirino has a thing for arming yourself; Real World had it, Grotesque had it. Out, did Out have it? No, Out did not. But I have a weapon too. I'm well aware of this. You have to be aware of your weapon in order to be able to wield it effectively.
I'm never going to stop HAHA. But anyway, I liked Grotesque, more than Real World, but less than Out. But Out, Out was fantastic. It's going to be hard to top.
So yes GOING TO STOP NOW (:
I didn't do much today, just sat and read because my books are due tomorrow. I still have Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I'm going to read on the way to groundschool and in the hours between groundschool and SIM 6. Speaking of which I have to go memorise HASELL and how to recover from stalling now. Lolol I am revising it in my head, thank you nearly photographic memory :D♥
Okay okay but I had something that made me scream this afternoon I MUST TALK ABOUT: NINO'S NEW MOVIE. I was falsely excited by the Arama article because NINO? HOLLYWOOD? YES. YES. ALL THE YESES. ALL THE ROLES. JUST GIVE. But alas he is merely acting in a Japanese movie, BUT STILL WONDERFUL. It's by Higashino Keigo, AGAIN, seriously I'll never stop watching live action remakes of this guy's novels. Why can I never find your books?
IN ANY CASE: Set in 2017, it tells the story of a young brilliant scientist named Kagura Ryohei (Ninomiya), who works as a DNA specialist for the National Police Agency in the newly created underwater DNA data center. One day, he suddenly becomes the prime suspect in the murder case of the developer of the new DNA investigation system. Having no memory of what actually happened, Kagura ends up on the run from the police.
UM.
1) Nino the scientist.
2) Nino the DNA specialist (it will make my life to hear him refer to DNA as 'deoxyribonucleic acid' js. JUST ANOTHER OF MY STRANGE FANGIRL WANTS.)
3) NINO THE MURDERER?
4) NINO THE AMNESIAC PRIME SUSPECT OF MURDER.
IDEK WHY I'M SO EXCITED THIS IS ACTUALLY KINDA TYPICAL BUT GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. Omg Encore has to bring this in I'll watch it. FIVE TIMES. Also lolol Nino underwater? I'D WATCH IT.
Omg he's going to read up on DNA for this. Um. HOT. ads;lkjfl;skja;lskdjal;skj.
CAN I ALSO TALK ABOUT SOME CRAZY FANDOM RUMOUR HE WAS GOING TO BE IN A MOVIE ADAPTATION OF VITA SEXUALIS. IDE. OH FANDOM. YOU CRAZY. adksjlkja.
I AM SO EXCITED OMG. Can't wait for 2013 shit shit HAHA I AM REALLY EXCITED.
Also guys I'm now convinced I'm the fandom prophet lolol things I have predicted that have come true:
1) SHINee debut in Japan (the announcement was WEEKS after I predicted it)
2) NINO DANCING TO GEE. Although notably: not to spite his bandmates, not alone, and not in Korean.
3) Nino getting a movie
I'VE SAID A BUNCH OF OTHER CRAP THAT CAME TRUE THOUGH I just can't remember now but lolol I HOPE THIS TREND CONTINUES. My Inoue Mao drama can be next! I don't mind :D
This photoset ♥ Perfectly done, the last gif is just. The cherry on the cake, so to speak. Ahhh ♥ (Also: Nino pretending to be asleep!)
Okay gonna go mug now (lolol and I was laughing at the SAT people for mugging) and sleep! I SHALL. CATCH UP ON FANDOM AOTHER DAY LOL.
Labels: reviews: books
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